2008 Woodie Awards
Court skills not up to snuff
Joe Barker
Issue date: 2/14/08 Section: Sports
After five minutes I was winded and just waiting for something - anything - to stop the clock.
However, my breathing problems did help my game. Because sprinting around under the basket in an attempt to get an easy layup was too much work, I camped out beyond the three-point line and waved my arms frantically.
Please see COLUMN, Page 19
Continued from Page 15
The guy who was guarding me obviously had seen my scouting report that said I couldn't shoot, so he wasn't within five feet of me. I got the ball, and because we already were down a lot to zero, I chucked up a three.
It was ugly. It hit the backboard, the front of the rim, the back of the rim and then somehow fell through the cylinder for three points.
I was stunned.
A couple of trips down the court later I again found myself open for another three - I guess the guy guarding me didn't think I would get lucky twice.
I did. It was another ugly shot that for some reason I launched with incredible arc. It looked like a definite air ball but instead was a swish. I was getting cocky.
The next time I got the ball I ignored the defender who had begun to respect my game. I chucked a three that hit nothing but the ground under the basket. It was the best definition of an air ball I had seen live. I was not even in the general area of the basket.
We went on to lose by 30 and that was only because that's as bad as the officials let it get. It would have been much worse had we played the entire second half.
Our team lost again by 30 last week and probably will lose by 30 tonight. I think after that I'm going to hang up my gym shoes and retire from rec-league play.
And I won't pull a Michael Jordan and come back wearing the four-five.
However, my breathing problems did help my game. Because sprinting around under the basket in an attempt to get an easy layup was too much work, I camped out beyond the three-point line and waved my arms frantically.
Please see COLUMN, Page 19
Continued from Page 15
The guy who was guarding me obviously had seen my scouting report that said I couldn't shoot, so he wasn't within five feet of me. I got the ball, and because we already were down a lot to zero, I chucked up a three.
It was ugly. It hit the backboard, the front of the rim, the back of the rim and then somehow fell through the cylinder for three points.
I was stunned.
A couple of trips down the court later I again found myself open for another three - I guess the guy guarding me didn't think I would get lucky twice.
I did. It was another ugly shot that for some reason I launched with incredible arc. It looked like a definite air ball but instead was a swish. I was getting cocky.
The next time I got the ball I ignored the defender who had begun to respect my game. I chucked a three that hit nothing but the ground under the basket. It was the best definition of an air ball I had seen live. I was not even in the general area of the basket.
We went on to lose by 30 and that was only because that's as bad as the officials let it get. It would have been much worse had we played the entire second half.
Our team lost again by 30 last week and probably will lose by 30 tonight. I think after that I'm going to hang up my gym shoes and retire from rec-league play.
And I won't pull a Michael Jordan and come back wearing the four-five.
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