Moms defend homeschooling

Her daughters went to every prom in three counties. Lack of socialization? That's a joke, homeschooling mother Patty McCarty said.

Education Department Chair Paul Yoder said not being socialized is just one of the dangers of homeschooling — parents often have difficulty recognizing learning disabilities early, and there's no regulation of curriculum. But that's not enough to advise against homeschooling, he said.

"Given the right circumstances, and given the right learning environments at home, I think they can do a fantastic job," Yoder said. "And in many ways, better than a classroom teacher that's dealing with 30 students in a public school."

He said parents should take advantage of the local homeschool association, Kirksville Area Homeschool, where they can seek help for subjects outside their expertise and socialize their children. Ultimately, he said, who knows a child better than his or her parent?

Homeschooling mother Sharon Murphy said the same thing. But she still began homeschooling with concerns.

"When I started, like, ‘Oh, are they going to turn into weirdos and not know how to relate?'" Murphy said. "And actually, I think they do better because — I went to public school, so I can say this — I knew how to socialize with kids my age, and that was it. Older kids were intimidating, younger kids were annoying."

Her children know how to relate and converse with older and younger children, as well as with adults, she said. People purposefully could isolate their children, but lack of socialization would be a choice, not a side effect, she said.

Her children participate weekly in library activities, play sports at the YMCA, take science classes at the conservation department and attend a physical education class at Truman.

"They get so many other people who are influencing them, who are teaching them, I just happen to be around for it," she said. "So I know what they're learning and get to follow up on it at home, and build on it."

Murphy originally homeschooled because she wasn't ready to let her children go, she said, although that's not as much of a problem now that they're older.

It's tiring, and she sometimes fantasizes about sending her children on a bus for eight hours, but she said she's being selfish when she thinks this. Homeschooling is an investment, she said.

"Our children are going to grow up to be responsible people who lead good lives and happy families and reach fulfillment," Murphy said.

Physical Education instructor Melody Jennings teaches PE to homeschoolers once a week and said the children perform noticeably different than publicly and privately schooled children — they tend to be much more polite and well managed.

Jennings said she's not certain that's entirely positive. She said the children, because they are less socialized, might not feel comfortable having careless fun with the other children. The homeschooling coalition in town gets the kids together for group activities, she said, but that doesn't completely cut it.

"If you're only interacting with kids that are like yourself, then they don't see the world as it truly is," Jennings said. "That there are all different kinds of thoughts, opinions and races and cultures. So I think that, in itself, is a little bit different."

McCarty, who began homeschooling so her husband could see his children despite his 3 p.m. to 11 p.m. work shifts, said she often faces scrutiny for homeschooling. She said this criticism frequently came from her father-in-law, who said she ought to be in the work force, pulling her own weight. But he changed his mind.

"Before he died, he said, ‘You guys really got it right,'" McCarty said. "He had been able to watch the progression and how, over the years, they watched how it all played out, and how they get integrated into society and how well adjusted they are."

"That meant everything to me, to hear that before he died," she said.