Facebook decreases empathy

Tomorrow, "The Social Network" comes out in theatres. In anti-homage, I have deactivated my Facebook account for a month, maybe forever.

No, I'm not protesting that they still haven't added a "dislike" button. No, the daily flood of event invites in my inbox doesn't bother me. Nor am I some suffering Facebook addict like many people. I only spend about 15 to 20 minutes per day on Facebook. But I have decided I want to stop, at least for a time.

The following are my three reasons for deactivation, listed in ascending order of importance: I'm not a product, I'm worried about privacy and I'm concerned about the empathy of our generation.

Product: Like it or not, we live in a globalized world where nearly everything is up for sale. I refuse to be a product. The last thing I want up for sale is my individuality. I've inserted or excluded various informational tidbits about myself on Facebook, hoping to bolster my appearance, fearing that past, present or future employers may somehow gain access to my profile. Facebook Meg wasn't even real Meg anymore, but some shiny, euphemized version that only occasionally permitted references about frivolous debauchery on her wall.

 So I gave Facebook Meg a ridiculous pseudonym, furthering the separation between myself and my Internet presence. But I still felt like just another cog in the consumption machine - changing my name wasn't enough. While interacting with my friends on Facebook, I was bombarded by advertisements, subtly begging for my support with a "like"  button, acting like some kind of neglected child. The ads were also creepily tailored to my interests, like my subconscious was spouting products at me.

Privacy: With the advent of social networking tools and the Internet as a whole, our society has become obsessed with shoving personal information into the public sphere.

I realized one day that I wasn't only marketing myself to future employers, but to friends. I don't know how many times someone has asked me if we were friends on Facebook yet. Is that the ultimate signal of friendship?

Sure I can keep in contact with many people, but do I need to know the business of 600 plus "friends"? When Facebook would log me into my homepage and I didn't even recognize names, I felt like a stalker. I absentmindedly would scroll through recently posted pictures, then after 10 minutes, realize I'm staring at people I have no emotional connection with or haven't spoken to in years.

Although Facebook has privacy controls, I don't trust anything that is out running about on the Interwebs. Nor do I need to know what's going on with my neighborhood friend from kindergarten, with whom the only connection I have is our childhood love of playing in the mud.

Empathy: Social researchers have conducted studies that show scary results - college students are less empathetic now than they were in past decades. Compared to the 1970s, or even 1990s, college students are less likely to agree with statements like "I often have tender, concerned feelings for people less fortunate than me," according to sciencedaily.com and usatoday.com. They attribute these results to several factors of our modern world, but one of the bearers of blame is social networking tools.

Empathy matters because it is what binds us to each other, what gives us community, what helps us survive. Really, it's what makes us human.

Facebook detracts from social interactions, and so detracts from our ability to empathize. I went "rogue" in hope of creating real, personal connections again. Instead of looking at my friends' pictures from their adventures abroad on Facebook, I want to talk to them in person, hear their stories first hand. Someone has a birthday? Maybe I will do more than just write "Happy 21st birthday, GET WASTED!" on their wall along with the hundreds of other well-wishers.

I've decided that instead of spending my little 15 to 20 minutes per day browsing Facebook, I'm going to try to keep in contact with friends in old school ways, like actually talking face-to-face, or just calling on the phone. For those friends a bit further away, I'll write snail mail or set up Skype dates.

If you have had thoughts about deactivativating, don't hesitate to do so. Facebook offers a temporary deactivation option (the one that I chose), so you can go back if you get tired of the unplugged lifestyle. All is not lost, there is still texting, e-mailing and other e-communication methods at your disposal.